I feel like I'm finally coming down off of an oddly stressful couple of months. I saw some of it coming, and dealt with it easily enough, but the parts that I didn't see coming really tossed me for a loop. That the job I moved back for turned out to be a joke was a possibility I expected (and frankly, I knew better, but whatever), but then there were issues of too many choices and very difficult decisions. I hate to complain about that when there are folks who can't find anything, but it was hard in a different way. Then you toss in the holidays, which weren't too bad this year in terms of stress, until the car accident. That in turn led to the financial discomfort associated with buying a new car.
At this point, most of that is behind me, but I've never felt more physically beat up by it all. The worst part of it was the IBS. I've talked openly about it before, about how my triggers are sometimes diet, but mostly stress and anxiety. It's the classic constipation-diarrhea cycle, and I've been in it for several weeks. It seems like it's finally settling down, but I'm so done with that.
Then there's the sleeping issues. I'm normally an exceptional sleeper, probably to a fault when I don't hear my own kid crying in the same room. Lately I've had all of the problems you can think of, ranging from staring at the ceiling to crazy legs and an inability to find any comfortable position. It leaves me exhausted by the evening. I seem to be really getting over that in the last week, thank God, because I'm super grumpy when I don't sleep. I also worry that Diana will be offended when I go down to the couch, just for a change of scenery.
To a lesser degree, I was also binge eating, but usually I realize that and get it under control pretty easily. That's more psychological, I think.
It's a weird phenomenon when your body starts letting you know that it's not happy with your mind. Usually, it's the other way around. Once I get back from starting my new gig, and settle in, I look forward to the positive routines I can engage in, particularly better eating and tennis. It will also be nice if we can get some weather that is dry and not windy so I can enjoy more hot tub meditation. Cold isn't a problem, but wind and rain is.
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