Instead of doing micro-journal entries, here's what's on my mind...
Last night I shut off the second of the two servers that have been running at my house for about two years. The office suddenly got really quiet and it was weird. The T-1 gets shut off next week, and all of my sites have been moved to a hosting facility in San Francisco. I almost had a tear... it was like the end of an era.
I remember at the time I got it that hosting costs were getting out of control, so the $1,200/month didn't seem so bad at the time. Then a series of events made it seem like a bad idea. Two weeks later one of my ad providers dropped me. After one month I built a second, more powerful server. A year later I'd find out it crashed all the time because of bad memory. I should've known... the parts arrived within minutes of the first plane hitting the World Trade Center on 9/11. Then a month after that I lost my job, so it was not a real good start to things. The good part of that though is that it forced me to be creative, which is how CoasterBuzz Club started.
Off-site hosting is finally less expensive, so the stuff is in San Fran now. While on the surface this sounds like I'll be making money with the sites, in reality I've got thousands on the business credit card to pay off as a result. If I pay myself back money from back in 2000 when I started all this, that means I should start to make money maybe next spring.
Meanwhile, I just picked up the new Michelle Branch album. Am I a big pussy or what? I am so infatuated with her. I've had things like that for female performers before, like Jewel, based more on musical ability than on looks. It's something about the songs that speak to me. I have to admit her last album had great sonic quality to it, but the lyrics were too much about "me" and cheeseball love topics. Now she seems like she grew up, had a few heartaches, and might even be a little pissed off about it. The song "Emptyhanded" might be about a failing relationship, but it's broad enough that it could apply to a job, crappy families, anything that you just want to get out of to make yourself better. I like the song, it motivates me.
Finally, I've noticed lately I don't like to eat anymore. It's because all I eat is crap, and going meal to meal eating more crap makes me feel not digestively shitty, but shitty in the head because I know I'm eating crap. I know in my head it's crap and it bothers me. Something is gonna snap before too long. One day I'm gonna spontaneously eat a fucking salad or something, I know it.