I got around to watching the season finale of Scrubs tonight. J.D. has a love child on the way, while Elliot is about to get married. Both have freak-outs feeling like they've uncontrollably landed in these relationship situations, and aren't sure they want them. They're lying on a bed in the on-call room, begin holding hands, and then the screen goes black.
That kind of story has always interested me, because, well, I've been there countless times. Going all the way back to high school, there was always "that girl" who was perfect for me, but there was some circumstance that prevented it from being so.
It's a classic theme that deals heavily with the idea of fate and destiny. It also approaches something I had not though of before, in a deliberate sense anyway. We are often powerless to enter into these relationships, because you don't get to make the decision on your own. There's another person who has a say in it. However, we always have the power to exit a relationship, at any time, or the other person can decide for you.
Think about that for a moment. That means that if you're really looking at things from a free will standpoint, you only have 25% of the power in a relationship at any given time. That's pretty daunting.
Still, you can draw some interesting conclusions from that realization. In the situations that are most harmful, where you are in a significant way not being served by a relationship, you can leave. Having the courage to do so is something else entirely. That's clearly where the start of next season's Scrubs has to go.
This is yet another realization that I find empowering. Maybe it's questionable about whether or not you can choose who you can partner with, but you sure can choose who not to be with. It requires courage all around, to let go of what isn't good for you, and at the same time, take a chance and trust to follow what is. It's the very decision that has to be made in every relationship.
And what do you know... another coming of age story that fascinates me. There's a screenplay in there somewhere.
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