There are days where Simon is pretty much the best and only thing in my world. Other times, I feel bad because his behavior grates on me so much that I want to be as far away from him as possible. The funny thing is that the bad stuff is completely worth enduring for the good stuff.
The meltdowns are the start of what's hard. Some days, I can roll with every tantrum. Other days, he gets to me, and I can't help but responding emotionally, exactly the opposite of what I want to do. And I feel like a dick, because when I see parents that I openly criticize in public for being shitty parents, I know that I'm being that parent. I don't give them a pass, and I won't give myself one. I never hit him or anything, but I have yelled at him, and that's stupid.
The single hardest thing for me right now is that bed time sucks about half of the time. I basically get two and a half hours with him after work, and I want it to be nice. Nights like tonight, he was all wound up, and while watching TV he was hitting me for no reason. Then he does everything he can to stall going to bed, including fighting us to brush teeth and read books. He goes into the crib and the crying and screaming over nothing in particular starts. I hate this, because I want my limited time with him in the weekday evenings to be special.
With all of the dread and frustrating points, the truth is that Simon has never been more of a sweet little boy. He has become very fond of giving hugs and kisses. It's nice to be on the receiving end of that as a parent, certainly, but in some ways it's even more cute to see him do it with others. For example, when we left Cedar Point last weekend, he gave the PR rep and the president of GKTW a big hug and kiss. It was just too adorable for words.
He sort of enjoys cuddling now, too. He loves to wrestle on the spare bed in the morning. If he's really, really tired, he'll pass out in your arms, with his head on your shoulder (challenging because he's so tall). Last weekend in the hotel, he wouldn't sleep, I guess because we were in the room. Then I crawled into bed with him, and snuggled up close to me, and slept. That was cute.
Simon also does a lot of cute and kind things. He gets super excited any time he can help, which frustratingly often involves opening or closing doors, but also watering the plants outside, putting stuff away (when we're lucky) and bringing you stuff that you may or may not need. He also likes to share food sometimes.
It's strange to say out loud that this is the best and worst time being Simon's dad, but it's true.