I find myself in the wrong state of mind this Christmas Eve. I'm trying hard to change it.
Work pissed me off to no end in the last week. On one hand, that's how I know that I'm into it in a way I haven't been for any job in years, but on the other hand, holy crap, I'm into it in a way I haven't been for any job in years. Simon has been a mess lately, with the teething screwing up his sleep routine and leading to hysterical fits of screaming. I feel ill-equipped to help him. I've put enormous pressure on myself to accomplish things before the month ends (and I am at least getting somewhere on that). The bottom line is that I can't turn my brain off, and that makes me a bit of a self-loathing shit. What I really want is to just relax and enjoy the remarkable world around me.
I'm getting there. It's pretty hard not to be excited about tomorrow, which will likely be the best Christmas since I was a child myself. So excited for Simon.
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