I have to say that we were pretty spoiled with the long list of visitors since Simon was born. Diana's dad and future step-mom helped defuse the chaos before and after the birth, and we're still eating food they made and froze. Aunt Kathy helped during Simon's fussiest phase so far, and when he had a cold no less. My dad helped feed the boy and got lots of photos that we simply would never have otherwise. And my mom finally had her long awaited shot at spoiling a grandchild, which she did extremely well (but in line with what we really wanted and needed, thankfully).
We also had Diana's BFF and tennis partner Sherry here, who showed how to be all-pro at parenting a baby. I think there was also something extra special about having a friend, non-family, because friends don't typically go that distance when you move away. That's not a reflection of our friendships or anything, it's just a realistic view on how things are.
But now that all of those important people have come and gone, we're feeling a little isolated. It's the one thing about moving that I never really anticipated, that we wouldn't have the pool of people we're used to leaning on, even in the most casual sense, as we went through this life-changing act of having a newborn. Our most trustworthy connection we have out here is Diana's brother and sister-in-law, but I already feel like we've leaned on them pretty hard at times, all while they have their own newborn and toddler. If anything, we should be helping them out!
Diana has her first PEPS meeting Wednesday, which I think will be awesome if just to hear other people say, "I know exactly what you're going through." She's also trying to get out for knitting on Fridays, which actually hasn't happened much because of our visitors (not that we're complaining), and she is on a tennis sub list too.
I try to do what I can, which is mostly taking over for Simon care after work, and take him for long stretches on weekends while Diana naps. I worry a great deal about building resentment that I get to go to work, and take no feeding duty midnight to 7 so I can stay awake there. It's not an ideal situation, but I feel like there's hope because he has had some really long sleeping runs here and there, as long as five hours. If he can do a five and four back-to-back, even if Diana has to be up for a half-hour to feed, that's almost like a real night of sleep! I'm crossing my fingers he gets there soon.
There's kind of a vicious cycle about trying to be social and get to a point where you have other people that you trust in your life, because as much as you need it, you get too tired to pursue it! I've met some good people at work, and a few are starting to be people I'd interact with outside of work. Most are a bit younger, but many also have kids so there's a great deal to learn from them. What I really need to do is find some people to play volleyball with and get back to coaching next winter, although playing is gonna be really hard for awhile, given the shape I'm in.
All of this adjustment to our new surroundings, and new family situation, has taken so much longer than I expected, probably because of the holidays and the big work leave. Things are still tough at times, but every day Simon gets more mature, and the potential for longer term social rhythm is greater. We'll get there.
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