Wanna buy something

posted by Jeff | Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 11:42 PM | comments: 16

I have a lot of anxiety lately, mostly over paying for my honeymoon. Two years ago I would've just said, whatever, who cares, I'll charge it and play 2.9% tag between credit cards. But now that I'm (relatively) debt free, I want to stay that way.

So it's ironic that I want to buy something to calm my anxiety. The thing I want most is a new laptop (my lack of disk space is frustrating me), but part of my incentive there is I want another deduction item before the end of the year. I should probably stick to a video game or something, which was part of the reason for my last post. It all seems materialistic and stupid for me to think this way, but I suppose since I'm not one who buys expensive cars or status-luxury items, I should keep some perspective. That, and I actually very much use the toys I buy for myself.

A lot of my self-imposed pre-guilt I'm sure comes from the economic environment we're in. It's interesting to read how even the most well off and financially secure people aren't spending money right now (duh, trickle-down doesn't work), for no other reason than it doesn't feel right.

Certainly I need to get back to work, and I'm hopeful that companies around here start hiring for actual salary positions again soon. Everyone is hiring for short-term contract code monkey work which I can't stand. I did that lifestyle for awhile and it was soul sucking no matter how much it paid (which was a lot). Putting off reasonable offers over the summer waiting for that job that ended up completely sucking ass was a strategic mistake. Meh. You live and learn.

Then there's the issue that I can't realistically give this year. Our local Toys-for-Tots has had half of its typical donations, and that sucks. Charities like that make a huge difference, and it was a similar local charity that hooked me up with new shoes once as a kid. The only thing I've done this year was for the usual Red Cross thing in the spring. That weighs on me.

In the mean time, I have spent time investing in myself, which I've learned each time that I wasn't working is probably the greatest thing you can do. I've spent a fair amount of time and money on books in particular to raise my game and learn new things. Here's hoping that pays off.


Comments

Neuski

December 3, 2008, 3:14 PM #

How does buying something calm anxiety when you have anxiety about paying for something?

Kara

December 3, 2008, 3:19 PM #

I totally, 100% get you on this one. I, too, have a significant amount of anxiety specifically concernig my life in MN, my apartment situation and still figuring out the whole Kara-on-her-own thing.

Therefore, I really, really want to buy some new bedroom furniture (I currently have NONE)and have been pretty much obsessing over it. For some reason I feel like if I am able to pick it out on my own and for my currently bachelor-girl style(get what I want and not what a future husband would want), I'll feel better about my home, myself, my life, etc. It would be crazy to drop $1500 on it, but part of me really wishes I would just do it. The rational part of me is putting it off until I have more money stockpiled and maybe even putting it off until I move Florida to avoid the hassle. Meh.

On the charity thing-- I'm not surprised. You are a giver by nature and it sucks not to be able to give everything you want to everyone you want to. Have you thought about giving your time instead of your money? Yeah, that was a typical "Kara's newfound love of volunteering" answer....

Stick with buying Rock Band so we can play it over the holidays :)

Carrie

December 3, 2008, 4:39 PM #

Tyler, the same way people eat food in order to quell their stress when one of the things they are stressed about is being overweight. It's the same concept.

Jeff

December 3, 2008, 5:12 PM #

I feel so understood. :) Thanks girls!

Neuski

December 3, 2008, 5:48 PM #

But Jeff isn't mindlessly walking to the store and buying something like we do when when eating. He is discussing his desire.

I agree with Gonch. Quit hee-hawin' around and buy something if you think you need to.

Carrie

December 3, 2008, 6:33 PM #

With all due respect, Gonch doesn't know what he is talking about. :)

There are a ton of legitimate reasons to stop a binge before it happens. The least of these would be getting at the underlying reason one wants to binge in the first place.

Jeff's post wasn't "hey I have a need for XYZ, but I am considering the ramification of buying it." It was "I feel like spending money on something. I guess I could use that as the reason to buy XYZ. But something tells me that's not going to satisfy my need."

There's a difference.

Neuski

December 3, 2008, 6:45 PM #

I don't understand the feeling to spend money. Has anyone else ever had this feeling?

Carrie

December 3, 2008, 7:00 PM #

That's the point. It's not a feeling associated with spending money. It's a desire to redirect anxiety. And people have/will do many different things to redirect anxiety like shop, eat, drink, smoke, gamble, exercise, volunteer, etc etc.

The form the diversion takes isn't nearly as relevant as the fact that a diversion is occurring.

And I would find it hard to believe that there is anyone who hasn't experienced what Jeff is talking about.

Gonch

December 3, 2008, 7:21 PM #

My post isn't a commentary on ways to relieve anxiety.

It's commentary on feeling no regret or remorse on spending - the pre-guilt Jeff speaks of.

I want something. I can afford it. I'm buying it.

Jeff

December 3, 2008, 8:37 PM #

Well duh, that's the difference. "Afford" is something of a sketchy concept when you're unemployed, no matter how much you think you can make.

Carrie

December 3, 2008, 8:39 PM #

I think that's great, Gonch. You did link to Jeff's post, however, and referred to the various reasons Jeff gave for being apprehensive about buying something. The pre-guilt stuff was only one part of that.

Gonch

December 3, 2008, 10:29 PM #

Maybe I'm not wording it right.

My post was merely meant to say I think things like feeling guilty spending because of the economic environment or the fact that even those who can spend aren't are bullshit things.

Regardless of why Jeff wants to buy something, those reasons for not doing it suck.

Or maybe my point was, " I want something, I'm buying it" :)

Either way. I'm not big on self-imposed guilt. If I do something I have a reason for doing it - even if it is being completely materialistic or seen as selfish in some way.

I think it's interesting that most of you picked up on why he wanted to buy something and the dealing with anxiety in life angle. All I saw was a guy who wanted something and found reasons (that seem silly to me personally) to talk himself out if. Same event, different coverage.

I am the meat-eating, Hummer-driving, credit-abusing one in this conversation.

Neuski

December 4, 2008, 1:32 AM #

I picked up on the anxiety because the post is titled "Wanna buy something" not "... computer/video game/etc."

Carrie

December 4, 2008, 3:14 AM #

Ditto for me.

Neuski

December 4, 2008, 3:15 AM #

We agree! Woohoo!

Carrie

December 4, 2008, 3:31 AM #

:)


Post your comment: