We don't have a baby anymore

I don't know why it hit me just this morning, but I was looking at Simon, and was very much struck by his... age. We don't have a little baby anymore, we have a little boy.

I'm surprised at how conflicted I feel about this. I don't want to ever go back to the days of intermittent sleeping, and I don't think I have the mental or emotional capacity for a second child, but the days where I could one-arm football hold him went by so quickly. When he could only lie on his back, kick and wave his arms, every day seemed to last a week.

That said, I can see the start of an entirely new phase starting, where he can finally talk to us. We're at a point now where he has specific things in mind that he wants to do, and knows when he requires our help. This arrangement very much forces him to learn to communicate in a way that we understand, beyond his collection of signs. The down side of this is that he can't always articulate what he means, which frustrates the shit out of him, as well as us. Before you know it, he has a mini-meltdown, and we have to fight the urge to yell at him or shake him.

This discomfort will pass as well, and it's tolerable for me because I can see where it's going. Simon's personality gets more rich and detailed every single day. He's a little person, and he's fascinating to watch (when he's not having a tantrum).

I have to remember to get more video of him, because still photos don't capture his personality the same way. He's making interesting memories every day.