Last Friday, I had lunch at a restaurant in Legacy Village, a fairly upscale themed shopping area east of Cleveland. Most of the stores there are places I'd never shop, because I don't see any value in the high-priced stuff they sell. Well, except for the Apple Store, of course, where I've spent a couple grand! I just think it's a neat place because it feels like a theme park, and, well, you know how I am about theme parks.
Anyway, as we were sitting there eating lunch, watching the beautiful and well-to-do doing well, I couldn't help but notice the way many of them act. They roll in, climbing out of their giant SUV's, treat the valets like shit, treat the restaurant staff like shit, and can't even hold a damn door open for people. They're just totally pretentious assholes. What gives?
Then it occurred to me... a lot of these people don't actually make any more money than I do. (And that's actually a scary realization for me because I don't feel like I make enough to do what I really want.) But I'm different, because I choose to drive a Toyota Corolla, shop at Old Navy, hold the door for people, and generally try to just blend in unless it serves me otherwise. So why is that?
I think a part of it might be that I'll never forget having food stamps when I was a kid. Part of it is that what I have isn't quite enough to reach the goals I'd like to reach, financially, professionally, or otherwise. In fact, there's my well-known realization that money doesn't buy happiness either, so working my ass off for something I don't care about will never happen. I guess none of the shit is important to me, and I certainly don't gain anything by flashing my shit to other people.
But I'm always reminded of my choices in certain scenarios. For example, I like staying in nice hotels where you get lots of attention. Hey, to me it's worth it to be spoiled now and then, because for me, it's all about me. But I'm always amazed how "rich people" look down on me because I'm sporting a T-shirt and a 2" barbell in my ear. I wouldn't say it bothers me, but I wouldn't be shy about telling those kinds of people that I kick ass, people like me for who I am.
So it's strange that I could afford to be a part of that culture, when I stick with a job anyway, but I'd be totally out of place in it. I hope to keep it that way. I mean, I hate working for The Man, I think The Man doesn't contribute to society, and The Man looks down on anyone not also The Man.
And for the record, I do look down on some people... but just the stupid ones. Socioeconomic status and demographics matter not in that regard!
Gordon and I always laughed about buying a house in upscale Birmingham (north of Detroit) and sitting on the front porch in cutoffs and tank tops, drinking beer just to irritate all those stuck up people.
There was a time when we were considered "rich", when our combined income was $145K a year. But I still shopped at discount stores, still used coupons, watched for sales, and treated people with respect no matter who they were.
Although I'd like to think it's because I also recall scraping by as a kid, food stamps, those once a month lines where you'd get free no-brand foods, etc., I think respect for people "less" than oneself is something you learn and practice no matter what.
One of Gordon's friends growing up who was no better off than Gordon was while growing up, became a doctor (an anesthesiologist). He and his wife moved to Birmingham, and once he was invited to join the country club and they began moving in a more upper class social circle, we never heard from him again. Our phone calls and invitations went unanswered. We were no longer in their social class and therefore not worth retaining as friends. Sad, really.
I find it odd that you seem to see that in 'rich' people and apply it to them. I live in a very economically depressed area where 80% of people are on food stamps and public assistance (I deal with them every day in my job), and I can tell you that they get out of their SUVs (yes, they have them, and the state helps pay for it, their gas mileage, AND maintainance on said SUVs) and treat the wait staff at resturaunts like crap, dont hold doors open, etc. I treat people (everyone) nice, and hold doors open because I was taught that. It isn't an economic issue, it is an attitude issue. Anyone who has everything handed to them will expect that from everyone else, be it 'rich' people, or the 'poor' people that the state/government hands everything to because they both choose not to work and to have someone else care for them. At a past job, a girl that was a regular customer came in often in her nice, big, shiny new Xterra with her food stamps, which she would use a couple stapms on candy to get change so she could use the change to get her cigs, and then she'd use her well fare check to buy Ben & Jerry's, Fiji Water, and uber-expensive stuff. She didn't work, and the state paid her way. One good thing that WV started doing was the EBT card. No longer do they have food stamps that allow them to get ANY change back. But she didn't work, lived off the system, and was just as much of a snob to the people that worked there and others around her, as the so-called 'rich' people.
CPLady's experience is a reflection of what true friendship is and is indeed sad, although the Doctor will probably never realise the fact. I couldn't agree more with Tekno, good manners have nothing to do with socio-economic status. One respects others because you learned or earned the value of respect and consequently treat others as you would hope to be treated. I also suspect, that Jeff doesn't really look down on "stupid" people, just people with stupid behaviors.