I've noticed that in recent months I haven't had much desire to write. I started to wonder why, and had to ask myself what it is that I'm most passionate about. A month ago I even wrote that I was bored. Am I just lacking the fire lately?
Passion can be exhausting for sure. I look at various periods of my life where I just had so much mental energy into things that it was hard for me to put time into anything else. When I was coaching, for example, it was the thing that defined me to an extent. That level of passion makes you feel alive and it gives purpose to your movement. It also comes with some risk, because anything that you're that into is going to hurt like hell if it fails. Apply it to a failed relationship and you get what I'm saying.
I don't think that I'm particularly risk averse right now. I joke about the fake midlife crisis thing, but I am at a place in life where I do generally understand that we never know how many tomorrows we have.
I think I'm in a place of transition. My passion for some things isn't what it used to be, and it's shifting to other things. Combined with a reduction in available mental bandwidth by way of parenting, it doesn't feel like I'm "all in" on very many things. I'm definitely committed to moving around at least four miles every day, EV's are my new obsession, and I think about traveling quite a bit.
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