Why it's OK for the journey to take awhile

posted by Jeff | Tuesday, April 8, 2008, 11:46 AM | comments: 5

After my previous post about babies, and with a comment that Mike made to me after the podcast this week ("Get your travel in now, because it's over once you have a kid"), I've come to the conclusion that the length of time in my journey with regards to family and such is totally OK.

In my post-college life, which now numbers almost 13 years (!), I have to say that I've had a very enjoyable, mostly unencumbered lifestyle. Sure, the period of time where I was trying to figure out what was best with regards to Stephanie and I was weird, but overall I've really liked my life. I don't regret not having children or getting divorced. I don't feel like I've missed anything.

Certainly Diana's brother puts that in perspective. He's 41 and just had a child. He's starting his own business. I think he's a real model against the idea that you need to establish all of these milestones before you're 25. I really believed that when I was in college.

This stuff has been on my mind a lot lately, especially after being exposed to Diana's family and the constant questions about when the wedding is supposed to be. She doesn't even have all of her stuff moved in! But the life changes are something on my mind too, since it's clear that I'm starting another phase of my life. It's strange to think about how much I've experienced thus far, and how I can consider that there was this long era where things were aligned differently than they will be going forward. One thing is for certain, the change is a lot easier to take than it was right after college, where you're going off on your own into completely uncharted territory.

Funny how life never stops being interesting.


Comments

Carrie, April 8, 2008, 4:38 PM #

Hey, you're the one who is always saying your 30's are the new 20's. :)

Jeff, April 8, 2008, 7:35 PM #

That's true, I do say that!

Iceracer, April 8, 2008, 9:00 PM #

Don't take Mike's comment too seriously. You were traveling by boat, train and plane before you were two years old! Your child is an extension of your life, not something that limits it. Diana's brother has it right and I wish him well as he continues on to his next milestones.

Onceler, April 8, 2008, 10:13 PM #

Yes, you can still travel (our baby has already been to Mexico with us to see family) but the travel isn't what you are used to; gone is the time of doing whatever your heart desires while on vacation. All I was getting at is if you have something you want to do (such as travel to Europe or something like that) you might want to think about doing it before you have your child.

And yes, your child is an extension of your life, but in the same regards, your life does change when you have a child.

Gonch, April 8, 2008, 11:10 PM #

Life does indeed change when you have children.

My opinion is that most people are too selfish for children these days and I see so many people where I think "they shouldn't have kids" that it's scary.

I'm also of the belief (and I know this is old-skool, minority thinking) that it makes more sense to have them young. I can't imagine waiting until my mid-late 30's or longer to have children. I was 24 when our daughter was born and 28 when my son was.

Those people waiting until their mid 30's will be where I am now when they're 46. The way I see it - once I'm 46, I'm free again ;)

And aside from the "freedom" aspect, I can't see the 35 year-old me being nearly as good with a small child as the 25 year old me was.

Then again I don't tend to put as much effort into thinking about these things like this as some of you guys do.

I think marriage is easy and requires no effort, having kids just happened and works without much thought...

...bah, what do I know?


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