I had one of those days today why I wonder why I even do this.
Yesterday I had a parent telling me I needed to baby her kid more. Today I had one that wrote a letter saying the girls weren't disciplined (i.e., I should yell more) and that I don't care about what I'm doing.
In our match today, my little Division IV school plays a big Division I school. In the fourth game we're down two games to one, but it's coming down to the wire. We're losing 23-24 when my middle blasts one at the blocker and it flies out of bounds. Girls cheer, the ref gives the other team the point for the game and the match. I completely flipped out. I mean, I scared myself. Hopefully I scared the official because he deserved it. This was the most fundamental call I've ever seen. The girls on the other team saw it, even admitted it, and this moron would not take it back. He saw the whole thing as the reverse, as if they were hitting and we were blocking.
So outside we went, girls are crying, I'm probably bright red, and the ref is still inside descended on by the line judges, the other coach, the athletic director... everyone but me and my kids. My kids are upset. I had never been that upset. It was absolutely horrible.
The kids cleared out, as did the gym. I just sat down and lost it for a minute. I've never been that upset ever. I let out a few tears and then the A.D. came in and did a good job of chilling me out and offering perspective.
I kept asking myself why I even bother. Then I realized... all of this peripheral bullshit has absolutely nothing to do with the kids. They're still eight awesome kids. It's just so hard when you have a day like this because in the middle of all that, you don't have much of a support system. If the A.D. wasn't there, I don't know, I might have really had to think about why I do this.
But I'll be at practice tomorrow, and we'll move on.
I was waiting for you to mention the parents that think they know how to coach.
From my personal experience as a high school athlete (what little there was), I was always happy to see a coach get upset over a call like you mentioned. It make me feel like the coach really cared about us, enough to kick and scream.
There is always a line that can be crossed, but it sounds like you were definitely on the right side of the line.