Last week's spring break cruise could not have come at a more ideal time. I've written about how much I'm struggling at the moment, in terms of mental health. I'm surprised at how often the loss of Finn is affecting me. I'm not quite moving through the stages of grief, in no small part because one day he was "making bread" on a blanket next to me, and three days later he was dead. I know that everything else is piled on top of it, and that doesn't help.
But for five nights, I was able to leave much of that sadness on the shore as we sailed away. Within two hours we reconnected with the bartender that got us into mixology, after not seeing him for seven or eight years. Simon was able to consume ice cream and do his thing. The surroundings were deeply familiar and comfortable, associated with so many great times. The air was quite literally better, free of the pollen that has been wrecking my sinuses. I felt like I was exhaling after holding my breath for who knows how long.
The rest of the cruise was similarly relaxed. We did trivia (and lost). We had several beverage tastings. We ate so much good food. We made new friends (and avoided one asshole, but whatever). We got to return to the beautiful Lookout Cay and its crystal blue waters, even if they were cold. We visited Castaway Cay for the 32nd time. And while warmer water would have been nice, the air was just perfect. Jacket weather every night, relatively low humidity and high 70's during the day.
It wasn't without some quirks. We had to get our dinner time changed first thing, and Simon struggled a bit with aging out of the Edge tween club, but it wasn't insurmountable.
There was an unexpected standout moment, too. We were calling it a night a little after 11, and crossing the upper deck when we noticed that the entertainment folks were rehearsing their pirate night show. Quite a few shoreside folks were there, too, identifiable because of their blue ID badges. It was cool to see the show without a thousand other people on deck. Even better, I loved seeing the joy on the faces of the crew and shoreside folks watching. What a thing to be a grownup who gets to play pretend for a living, and giving that joy to others.
I am so grateful to have these opportunities, especially having a chance to let other people look after me.
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