I've noticed, in the online social arena at least, a lot of folks claiming victory in sobriety for various periods of time. I am definitely sensitive to this, given the amount of addiction and alcoholism in my family history. What I find surprising about it is the extent to which people previously engaged. For example, one "personality" I follow, who is a licensed therapist, talked recently about their journey over the last two years. They realized at some point that they were having at least two drinks a day (which also, according to many studies, constitutes as "moderate" usage), which seems to me like a ton. The narrative is almost always followed with the indications of feeling better and what not. Given that these are all anecdotes, it's never clear to me what constitutes "normal" or "acceptable" use of alcohol. I mean, from a scientific standpoint, it is essentially poison. There aren't really any benefits to consuming it.
Naturally, this makes me think about how I should respond, if at all. I've really enjoyed learning the craft of making a good beverage over the years, and I think I'm moderately OK at it. Since treating my hypothyroidism with levothyroxine, I am way more alcohol tolerant than I used to be, so it's pretty rare that I get genuinely drunk. I do get buzzed sometimes, but I feel like even that is rare relative to where I was five years ago.
Most people on a sobriety journey are not particularly judgmental about it, but I still feel abstractly judged. The truth is that alcohol definitely works as a social "lubricant" for me. Social interaction is difficult for me, presumably because of the autism, so I welcome that lubricant. In the last twelve months, I can think of three instances where it was helpful, and I think they were four out of the five times that I was genuinely "feeling it." Is this good? Is it bad? I don't know. I don't even know who decides.
Often the discussion of sobriety revolves around the social situations, though most of it seems to be about drinking alone. I do make beverages by myself sometimes, but generally only on the weekend when Diana is working. I'll make two, maybe three drinks, over the course of four hour or more, which is not enough to really feel anything. I don't really want more because it just feels like empty calories in a diet that's already pretty poor.
My history often comes into play here. It's also interesting because it has vastly influenced my use of medical marijuana. I'm very cautious. I have family members that drink daily, which I don't feel like I could ever do.
So for those who find strength in sobriety, I tip my hat to you. I hope that my own periodic consumption isn't something that you view as negative.
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