The worry is worrisome

posted by Jeff | Wednesday, April 20, 2022, 10:50 PM | comments: 0

The change in my general mental well-being following my start on bupropion has been a great thing. As I said before, I was anxious to have "the feels" and sense of joy that went missing. But there's a downside to this, in that I feel a fair amount of worry about larger things that are mostly out of my control. Oddly enough, it's another way that I know the drug is working, because in January I was largely indifferent to troubling things.

I can't tell yet how this fits into my anxiety or the infrequent panic attack, because the latter is very infrequent. Without a ton of data, I think the physical manifestation comes at most every four or five weeks, but definitely not every two or three like it used to be. Again, the data sample is not statistically significant yet.

It feels like there's a lot to worry about. An autocratic fascist that has access to nuclear weapons has invaded Ukraine. For some reason, a minority of people are supporting laws that involve banning books, discriminating against people not like them and restricting access to voting, which are all very antithetical to what America stands for. The same folks are also doing their best to undermine democracy as a whole, and for some reason no one is really paying attention. Oh, and the world is still in for some serious climate change that will certainly destabilize an already fragile society, to say nothing of the cost in human lives and destruction of property.

Certainly, if I didn't have the joy to balance it out, I'd be in a bad spot. But hey, the antidepressant is working!


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